Cyclones, whirlpools and a new-found allergy

(Now that the book excitement has settled a bit I can finally get around to finishing the blog about our Tasman Bay trip)

Sometimes you can scare the pants off yourself over things. They build up as big bogies in your mind and you freak yourself out over them, regardless of how much logic tells you they aren’t an issue.

Other times you don’t bat an eyelid at something and it comes to bite you on the bum.

Both those things happened on the way to Nelson.

Scary thing number 1 was Cyclone Pam, which was due to pass near New Zealand. Despite the fact that I was repeatedly assured it would come nowhere near where we were I managed to wind myself up about it.

I call it ‘getting the flutteries’ – not to belittle the anxiety, but to give it a little less power. “I’m having a fluttery” sounds a lot friendlier than “My heart is trying to eat its way out through my throat”  – and making it that little bit smaller, makes it a little easier to cope.

Sure enough, despite the flutteries, the worst thing that happened was we were held up for a few days in the Sounds – and that is something I am not going to complain about given what happened in Vanuatu.

The Ni-vans were some of the loveliest, most welcoming people we met in the islands and it was heartbreaking to see their homes and livelihoods destroyed. There are a lot of relief efforts and fundraising going on and I sincerely hope the support is getting to the people who need it most.

Waiting for Pam to blow over - Bay of Many Coves
Waiting for Pam to blow over – Bay of Many Coves

Scary thing number 2 was travelling through French Pass. French Pass (or Te Aumiti) is a narrow stretch of water with the dubious distinction of having the fastest tidal flows in New Zealand (up to 8 knots). Apparently when the tide changes the current can be strong enough to stun fish. Paddy tells a story about people dropping 44 gallon drums into the pass from D’Urville Island, just to watch them get sucked down and spat back out like sky rockets. If that’s not scary enough, it also has whirlpools. Yes, whirlpools.

Whirlpools.
Whirlpools.

This is why when travelling through the pass you have to get your timing absolutely perfect. You need to make sure you enter at slack tide when the current is at its weakest and that way you only get pushed about a little bit.

We’d done it before successfully, but that didn’t stop me freaking myself out over it. And, as with the cyclone, nothing happened. It was a little unnerving feeling 18 odd tonnes of steel being pushed about like a feather in the wind, but we crossed without incident.

Swirly, whirly French Pass
Swirly, whirly French Pass
And this was at slack tide!
And this was at slack tide!

The second part of this blog is brought to you (once again) by the Weather Forecasters Are Lying Bastards channel.

One thing I didn’t even think about freaking out over was the trip into Nelson. It would be a simple day sail and the weather forecast was for pretty much no wind at all.

At first that was exactly what happened. We got a bit of a headwind but it was still on an angle we could sail on. After a while the wind built up and we actually found ourselves sailing quite fast.

We were hooning about with our headsail until the headwind got a little too strong and eyeballing the water was making me a bit nervous.

We  took the sail down only to get a  mad case of the wobblies. What we hadn’t factored in before we left was that Nelson was a lot more tidal than Wellington. Tides can get up to four meters, so it was quite a bit of water we were pushing against.

Wildflower was rolling from side to side and I started to feel a little bit scared. Deep down I knew that we were safe and that we would get there eventually but it certainly wasn’t very much fun.

I tried to tell myself that people paid good money for this kind of experience at amusement parks, but it really wasn’t helping.

Paddy reminded me that we went through much worse on the way to Tonga and handled it – and that went on for days, not hours. That actually helped. I tried to remind myself I was a big brave lion and could handle this.

I did everything I needed to helping put the sails away and then – once we sussed out steering was going to be a one man job – braced myself at the bottom off the cockpit and tried not to spew.

It was a good chance to give my anxiety coping skills an airing. The problem with having any kind of disorder that flares up from time to time rather than being constant is that when you aren’t feeling awful, the last thing you want to do is think about feeling awful and so you tend to be a bit slack about practicing how to cope if the awful arises.

Before we went away on our trip I knew there was a chance of an attack of the flutteries so I sat down with the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (one of the best anxiety books I have come across) and gave myself a crash refresher on breathing exercises, self-talk and visualisation.

One of the tricks is to visualise a calm, safe scene. I have two – one for summer and one for winter. In the summer one I am swimming in a calm bay. The water is tropical temperature and I have gills, so I can dive under the water and mooch around with tropical fishies without having to worry about running out of breath. In the winter one I am sitting by a fireplace, it is warm and toasty, I am safe and sheltered, I have a good book and a cat snuggled up with me. At that stage I went with the fireplace one.

It sounds a bit silly, but it does actually work.

My calm scene was broken repeatedly however by things crashing and smashing.

Because we’re a bit out of practice and weren’t expecting weather, we hadn’t really stowed everything away properly – which meant books, plates and cooking products went flying across the boat.

It made a lot of scary noises but the only real casualty was a full bottle of sesame oil which emptied itself all through the boat.

We managed to put the culprit – and other condiments – in the sink but the smelly genie was out of the bottle at that point, and I spent the rest of the rolly trip trying not to vomit while inhaling very strong sesame fumes.

I think I may have developed a temporary allergy – I didn’t end up losing my lunch but even the thought of sesame makes me feel a little delicate now.

All’s well that ends well though – we got into Nelson marina, my fabulous knot tying skills secured the fenders (buoys that act as boat bumpers) and we managed to berth the boat with just the two of us.

The Aftermath
The Aftermath
Rather apt sign on the door at Nelson Marina
Rather apt sign on the door at Nelson Marina

We spend a few days in Nelson as enforced rest for my sprained ankle. In Paddy’s words we were “waiting for Big Foot to have two regular sized feet”.

We moved from there to Torrent Bay in the Abel Tasman which was absolutely lovely. Even Gus the SpokesMuppet got a day at the beach. He discovered Fraggle Rock and irritated Paddy. Here are some photos.

Captain on the golden sands
Captain on the golden sands
Dance your cares away
Dance your cares away
Worries for another day
Worries for another day
Let the music play
Let the music play
Down in Fraggle Rock!
Down in Fraggle Rock!
View from Able Tasman walkway
View from Able Tasman walkway
We were very jealous of this dinghy - you can drive it right up onto the beach!
We were very jealous of this dinghy – you can drive it right up onto the beach!
'Sup
‘Sup
Gus: Paddy, Hey Paddy! Whatcha doing Paddy? Paddy: Sigh
Gus: Paddy, Hey Paddy! Whatcha doing Paddy?
Paddy: Sigh…

12 hacksaw blades and don’t skimp on the buckets

Yesterday I learned that you cannot leave this country in a boat unless you have 12 new hacksaw blades and four buckets on board. This is just a small sample of the demented shopping list we need to check off to get Wildflower up to category one standard so we can legally go offshore.

One or two hacksaw blades I can understand, but 12! What on earth for? Are we going to need to break out of prison? Is there an island I don’t know about that barters in hand tools? Are we going to be boarded and demanded to produce the requisite number of hacksaw blades?

The buckets make a little more sense – they can be used for bailers or collecting sea water and make excellent receptacles for queasy passengers (which I can sadly vouch for from personal experience…) But even if you are sailing single-handedly, you still have to have four of the things – offerings for a passing lolrus perhaps?

Along with the hacksaws and buckets, category 1 also involves spending thousands of dollars on equipment we don’t ever want to use. Flares, lifeboats, fire extinguishers and flashy beepy locatory things all have expiry dates on them – so you buy them and (all going well) don’t use them, only to have to chuck them out and buy new ones that you don’t want to have to use – a little perverse really.

Also, it turns out that New Zealand is the only country in the world where you have to meet a required standard before you can leave on a boat – and, while I would like to think this is because we are a particularly safety conscious nation, it probably has more to do with the fact that New Zealand covers the largest search and rescue area in pretty much anywhere. If people get in trouble in their patch then a lot of money is spent getting them back – and it’s  a pretty big patch!

Our search and rescue patch

So mother, you can rest assured. I will be leaving New Zealand in a ridiculously safe boat!

On a different note – a couple of people have asked me if the quake in Christchurch has put me off going on the trip, and I have to admit there were a couple of moments (and I recognise them for what they were) when I didn’t want to leave because I was afraid  something else might happen while I was gone. But I know that is something that, even with all the willpower in the world,  I have absolutely no control over.

What I do have control over (and what everyone does) is my fear. And a perfect example of that is Christchurch. Watching life doing its damnedest to go on when I was down there at the weekend was truly awe-inspiring.

You can’t live a life of what-ifs, because you never know when a boulder is going to roll into your living room and sell on TradeMe for $60,000. If the quake has taught me one thing it’s not to put off what’s important. Do the things you have always wanted to do, tell the people you love that you love them, don’t hold anything back because you never know what’s around the corner. If the people of ChCh have the strength to pick up their lives and keep going, then I sure as hell can run away to sea with the pirate I love and have a life-changing experience.

I’m a Cantabrian born and bred, and every day we are seeing how tough that lot are!

Drugs are good mmmkay?

Drugs are good mmmkay?
Me on Paihia Bombs in Queen Charlotte Sounds

A word about seasickness medication – don’t knock it. And for the love of Neptune, if you aren’t used to sailing, don’t try to be macho and tough it out without it.

I learned that one the hard way during my first Cook Strait crossing on the way to Queen Charlotte Sounds. I did the whole “I don’t get motion sickness, I don’t need drugs” routine.

Big mistake.

To be fair we had a horribly sloppy sea with 4/5 m swells, so it wasn’t going to be a comfortable trip anyway – but I’m sure I would have been able to handle that fine if I’d just taken the damn pills!

Instead I spent the latter part of the trip hugging a bucket.

There is a much more scientifically accurate way to say this but basically motion sickness happens when your inner ear starts squabbling with your eyes. Your inner ear tells you that you’re moving while your eyes are convinced you are staying still – your tummy then decides to opt out of the whole argument by expelling its contents. Repeatedly.

That’s why they tell you to keep an eye on the horizon – that puts your eyes and your brain back on the same page. Unfortunately, on that particular trip, I was too far gone for that trick to work so poor old Paddy ended up bringing the boat in single-handedly while I wedged myself in a corner and refused to move.

One of the worst things you can do if you are prone to motion sickness is go below deck, because then you have no reference point – and that was exactly what I did. I went below to go to the toilet and when I came back it was all on. Lesson learned.

Some people don’t like taking drugs because they can make you drowsy, but Paddy has discovered an answer for that in some awesome little pills called Paihia Bombs. These work for 24 hours so you can take them the night before, get a good night’s sleep and be alert in the morning without getting sick. They rock!

My second brush with seasickness was very Monty Python. We were holidaying in Vanuatu and went out fishing on a charter boat. I didn’t even think about taking seasickness pills because we weren’t going that far out. But the boat was a lot smaller than Wildflower and therefore a lot rockier. It all happened so fast. One minute I was sitting up the front of the boat and the next I was doubled up over the side (NOT a safe position to be in – another lesson learned). Again I wedged myself into a corner with a bucket and again was so paraliticly sick I couldn’t move. Unfortunately the spot I had chosen was right in front of the fishing rods and people were having to climb over me to get at them.

This was fine until Paddy managed to land a 7kg mahimahi, which clobbered me in the head on its way aboard. So, ladies and gentlemen, I have actually been slapped in the face with a wet fish – and it wasn’t a pleasant experience!

The funny thing about seasickness is that while you are going through it, it feels like you are dying, but the second the motion ceases it all goes away. That’s because your body isn’t actually sick, it’s just really confused.

And before you start worrying Mum, I have been out plenty of times since then and haven’t been sick at all. Apparently it takes about three days in the open ocean before your body gets used to the motion. In the meantime though, the drugs are working for me so I’m sticking with them!

And I got the last laugh on the fish in the end – it was delicious!

Sailing home from the Sounds (only decent bit of wind we got!)
The offending fish
Revenge is scrummy!

Drugs are good mmmkay?

Drugs are good mmmkay?
Me on Paihia Bombs in Queen Charlotte Sounds

A word about seasickness medication – don’t knock it. And for the love of Neptune, if you aren’t used to sailing, don’t try to be macho and tough it out without it.

I learned that one the hard way during my first Cook Strait crossing on the way to Queen Charlotte Sounds. I did the whole “I don’t get motion sickness, I don’t need drugs” routine.

Big mistake.

To be fair we had a horribly sloppy sea with 4/5 m swells, so it wasn’t going to be a comfortable trip anyway – but I’m sure I would have been able to handle that fine if I’d just taken the damn pills!

Instead I spent the latter part of the trip hugging a bucket.

There is a much more scientifically accurate way to say this but basically motion sickness happens when your inner ear starts squabbling with your eyes. Your inner ear tells you that you’re moving while your eyes are convinced you are staying still – your tummy then decides to opt out of the whole argument by expelling its contents. Repeatedly.

That’s why they tell you to keep an eye on the horizon – that puts your eyes and your brain back on the same page. Unfortunately, on that particular trip, I was too far gone for that trick to work so poor old Paddy ended up bringing the boat in single-handedly while I wedged myself in a corner and refused to move.

One of the worst things you can do if you are prone to motion sickness is go below deck, because then you have no reference point – and that was exactly what I did. I went below to go to the toilet and when I came back it was all on. Lesson learned.

Some people don’t like taking drugs because they can make you drowsy, but Paddy has discovered an answer for that in some awesome little pills called Paihia Bombs. These work for 24 hours so you can take them the night before, get a good night’s sleep and be alert in the morning without getting sick. They rock!

My second brush with seasickness was very Monty Python. We were holidaying in Vanuatu and went out fishing on a charter boat. I didn’t even think about taking seasickness pills because we weren’t going that far out. But the boat was a lot smaller than Wildflower and therefore a lot rockier. It all happened so fast. One minute I was sitting up the front of the boat and the next I was doubled up over the side (NOT a safe position to be in – another lesson learned). Again I wedged myself into a corner with a bucket and again was so paraliticly sick I couldn’t move. Unfortunately the spot I had chosen was right in front of the fishing rods and people were having to climb over me to get at them.

This was fine until Paddy managed to land a 7kg mahimahi, which clobbered me in the head on its way aboard. So, ladies and gentlemen, I have actually been slapped in the face with a wet fish – and it wasn’t a pleasant experience!

The funny thing about seasickness is that while you are going through it, it feels like you are dying, but the second the motion ceases it all goes away. That’s because your body isn’t actually sick, it’s just really confused.

And before you start worrying Mum, I have been out plenty of times since then and haven’t been sick at all. Apparently it takes about three days in the open ocean before your body gets used to the motion. In the meantime though, the drugs are working for me so I’m sticking with them!

And I got the last laugh on the fish in the end – it was delicious!

Sailing home from the Sounds (only decent bit of wind we got!)
The offending fish
Revenge is scrummy!